Monday, August 29, 2011

Today

Today was anticipated to be a hard one. I won't go into too many details, at least not in this post, but with both Ryken and Aven I experienced postpartum depression. It started with intense fears of failing my family, and gradually faded to more of a constant concern that I would be able to care for and nurture them to the extent hoped for. I am currently (and thankfully) in the fading part.

Today was the date I was supposed to go in for my scheduled repeat c-section. Instead it is the day I hold my nearly six week old baby girl in my arms. And surprisingly enjoy watching her drift off to sleep. I am so thankful that instead of dwelling on what I thought should have been, I found that I was able to actually enjoy what is.

Today I see what my full term baby would have looked like. And today I can see just how absolutely beautiful she is. I see it more with each day that passes, and I am confident that will continue for the rest of her life.

Today I am thankful for time passing, sadness fading, and hope glimmering.

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